Tuesday, 19 April 2016

Guest Post - Dreams: A window into your subconscious…and a way to read your boyfriend’s mind by Portia Macintosh - Blog Tour

It was a hot and sunny day when I went for a picnic in the park with my friend Carl*. As we chatted, sprawled out on a blanket, feeding each other strawberries in front of a picture-perfect backdrop, I couldn’t have been happier. As the sun started to drop from the sky, the kids all went home, the birds all flew away and the park fell silent, until it was just Carl and me left. With all of the strawberries gone, Carl took the initiative to nibble on my neck instead and, before I knew what I was doing, I was rolling around on the grass with him. Just as things started getting a little too steamy for me to write about, I woke up suddenly, the harsh sound of reality (my bloody alarm clock) snapping me from my dream - yes, it was all a dream. Carl is a real friend of mine though. We’ve never hung out one-on-one, we weren’t ever the kind to message one another and I’ve never really fancied him – but that last one changed after my dream, because I woke up crazy for dream Carl… and therefor, real Carl. 

Suddenly I noticed his kind smile. The way his nose scrunches up when he laughs. The delicious smell of his aftershave…

It was this dream that inspired my latest novel, Truth or Date, in which Ruby, my main character, has a steamy dream about her flatmate, Nick, and finds herself falling head-over-heels for him. But it isn’t the dream that makes Ruby fall for Nick, the dream simply taps into feelings that she already had, hidden away in her brain somewhere. They say that dreams are a window into our subconscious, and I believe this.

It’s a weird that, around the time my book about dreams has come out, that my boyfriend has started talking in his sleep. The strangest thing is that, I can’t tell if he’s sleep talking or not because he does it with his eyes open, his face as emotive as ever, and yet when I relay our conversations to him the second he wakes up for real, he has no recollection of our conversation. As funny and as weird as this is, I feel at an incredibly unfair advantage. I’m getting this sneak peak into my boyfriend’s real feelings, ones that he might not otherwise share with me. While this might seem like a slight (and yet entirely accidental) invasion of his privacy, I can’t help but see this as a vehicle to making him happier, because it helps me to realise what’s on his mind. Most often, it’s work. He’ll blabber something to a colleague, or make some mention of something that sounds far too technical for me to understand. Sometimes he’ll complain that he doesn’t feel well – both things he’d never usually “burden” me with if he were awake, because he’s always too busy looking after me. My favourite sleep revelations made by my boyfriend, are the ones about me. When, even though he’s fast asleep, he tells me how he feels about me. When, at 3am, without knowing being aware of his actions, he wraps his arms around me tightly and tells me I’m wonderful. It’s not that he doesn’t do this when he’s awake, it’s just I know that when he’s asleep, he isn’t choosing to share this information with me, it’s exactly how he feels. Sometimes men tell girls what they want to hear, and sometimes men are scared to tell girls how they feel at all, and both can be incredibly frustrating.

Of course, it hasn’t taken a forthcoming subconscious to make me realise how much my boyfriend loves me, he does an incredible job of that when he’s awake, but it’s nice to have someone care about you so much that they crave your touch, even when they’re fast asleep.

Thank you Portia, at this interesting look at dreams and how they have inspired Truth or Date.

Amazon UK

Author Bio:
Portia MacIntosh has been 'making stuff up' for as long as she can remember - or so she says. Whether it was blaming her siblings for that broken vase when she was growing up, blagging her way backstage during her rock chick phase or, most recently, whatever justification she can fabricate to explain away those lunchtime cocktails, Portia just loves telling tales. After years working as a music journalist, Portia decided it was time to use her powers for good and started writing novels. Taking inspiration from her experiences on tour with bands, the real struggle of dating in your twenties and just trying to survive as an adult human female generally, Portia writes about what it's really like for women who don't find this life stuff as easy as it seems.

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